Laundry and sad songs

I've been at Cornell for nearly three months and this Cornell Veg, is not a happy vone. I can't go to a meal without my vegetarian motives made fun of. And if it's not my eating habits that are the butts of jokes, then it's just who I am. I hate it. (My roommate even mentioned today outloud that I get made fun of a lot... but will she do anything about it....?) I thought college would be a lot of people open to who I was. It is far far far from that. Some days I love it here. Some days I hate it. I've found that on Saturday and Sunday it all depends on how the night before ended. Most usually they end terribly, so I wake up even more miserable. But I've also found that on weekdays I wake up miserable and get a lot done, and find myself going to sleep happy. And I look foward to the weekends, always forgetting how miserable I tend to spend them. It's an awkward cycle that I can't seem to get my mind in line with. Something tells me it's not as bad as I'm making it seem, because I don't hate it here. But I'm pretty sure I would be happier at another University. I love Cornell--the place, but the people are not my kind. Or at least not the people it Kay Hall. They are good, just not for me. And clearly this makes me sad. This is supposed to be the best year in a long time, and I'm not finding it to be that at all.

Now I'm downstairs waiting for laundry, fake studying and listening to pity music. The Elected, Herman Dune, Frida Hyvonen. I've been good at finding a lot more winter, curl-in-a-ball-in-my-bed-and-never-come-out music. I'm going to believe that fact is a bad thing. I'm pretty sure if I lose weight, wear contacts, talk more, and somehow manage to use this to get a boyfriend I would be happier. But, without the weight, with the contacts and chit-chat, would I be happy? So does this make me a "Happy Alone" Kings of Leon person, or shall I listen to Snow Patrol when they say "You Could Be Happy"? Either way, happy is an awkward word. Repeat it a few times and enjoy.